Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i want to swaddle you in tequila
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize