I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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