You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
