So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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