my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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