I wanna bring you to show and tell
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
