Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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