We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
