Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
