some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
