I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
