and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
The beer is more important than you right now.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
