Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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