she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize
