evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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