That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
