i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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