Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
