i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
