I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You have to summon your inner elephant
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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