I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I am naked and annoyed.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize