just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
