I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
