Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize