porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
