Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
