That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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