rhymes with "ouble enetration"
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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