just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize