If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Randomize
