Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Semen is not good for contacts.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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