Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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