Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
