she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Randomize
