You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize