She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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