you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
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