He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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