You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
