isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
