Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize