I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
