so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
