they need to just BURY HIM!
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
