drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize