As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Randomize
