Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize