It's like God shit irony all over that family
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
