trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
