christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize