I need help removing her.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize