sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
