i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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