EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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