Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Randomize
