I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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