That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
