oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Randomize
