super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
