There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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