I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
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