Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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