8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
now i know why i became what i already was.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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