Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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