Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
you traded sex for a burrito?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
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