We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
