i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
