I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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