Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize