She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
