Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
