We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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