Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
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