K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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