I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
