So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
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